Monday, June 26, 2006
8:24 PM
The last two days I have been feeling really sick, and it sort of came to a head today. I spent a while in the bathroom, throwing up. I thought it was something I ate, but now I realize it's me being absolutely panicked about this situation. I think I will feel better Wednesday afternoon when Tom's almost done traveling the first leg and I'm finished with the stuff I have to get done right after he goes. Maybe I can enjoy the quiet time...
There's so many emotions right now. The first is that Tom is going on a very long trip for a long time. As much as I pretend to be Miss Independent, and was for quite some time, he and I haven't been apart for more than a few days since we got together in 2000. Two weeks is a long time, and I have no idea how I'll feel. I'm trying to think of it as one last quiet stretch before my life Radically Changes and I become someone's mom. But honestly, I could do without it.
I'm anxious to hear Tom's description of Cupcake, and finally meet her. Right now it doesn't click that he's actually going to meet Cupcake, and the next time I see him he will be CARRYING her. But I know as the week goes on, I will be very anxious to hear all the details and be in touch. Thank goodness Tom's sister works for Verizon- she managed to get them worldwide cell phones for the trip.
In the back of my mind, I'm scared I won't be a good mom. It's hard to write, but I know there will be times when it will be really really hard, and I will be freaking out. And I plan on being honest about it.
A few of you have asked what we packed- Tom got a bunch of Coolmax clothes for himself. For medications/health stuff, we used Dr. Aronson's list. Baby items include:
- 14 inexpensive onesies (so they can be disposable- I got a million of these at my baby shower)
- 10 outfits (mostly shorts and "bubble" thingees)
- 2 bottles with several nipples (one is Playtex with the drop ins, and the other is Avent in case she hates the Playtex)
- a few days worth of diapers
- 3 little packs of travel diaper wipes
- a travel kit of baby powder, shampoo, and lotion and other supplies
- two paks of disposable bibs, plus 3 cloth ones
- 2 hats
- bug spray and sunscreen
- 2 blankets
- socks and 2 pairs of shoes
- first aid kit
- toys (soft rattle, little doll, stuffed cat that plays music, teething stuff, photo album)
- pajamas (with and without footies)
- cloth diapers for burping and changing on the go
plus tons of toys, clothes, and supplies for the orphanage.
As far as gifts: I made the each of the nannies/volunteers at the orphanage necklaces with Red Swarovski crystal hearts on black silk cord. I put them in small gift bags, and in each bag I also added in a small bottle of Healing Garden lotion and a bottle of sheer fragrance plus a Tootsie Roll bank (they won't melt and there's a rumor that candy and American things are typical gifts).
For the male officials we need to give a gift to, we got baseball caps with a colorful logo from our city on it (which I have heard may not be a good gift, but it's too late) and bags of Hershey's Kissables. We heard M&Ms are a big thing in Vietnam, but Kissables don't melt and are brand new so we went that route.
I feel like these are crummy gifts, but I tried to follow the recommendations. How do you thank the person who has been caring for your child, and the people who are allowing you to take home a child from their country? There is no gift big enough for that.
