Tuesday, May 2, 2006
5:13 PM
(This is part of one of my favorite photos of Grace- I don't know why... something in her eyes or the way she's checking stuff out...)
Everyone who has been through an adoption has told me that the wait between referral and travel would be the hardest. It's both true and not true- the adoption process has gotten infinitely easier and more rewarding because we can *see* what we are working towards and visualize that little girl every day, but time has slowed to a stop.
In the last few weeks I have been doing a lot of reading about the orphanage Cupcake is in. The children are very well cared for and get lots of human love and interaction. However, every single day I think about every milestone we are missing. All the time we have to make up for. I just want to hold her and smooch on her and see her smile and hear her laugh and wrap her in soft comfy blankets and give her a wonderful life. I want to engage her, show her the world. I want to go to that orphanage and do something for every single one of those children. I feel so helpless right now- there's really nothing we can do but make donations to the orphanage and wait.
We're looking at travel in June. For most Vietnam adoptions, the longest wait is between referral and travel. Most adoption agencies are giving referrals before the dossier is submitted to Vietnam (there's a lot of child-specific paperwork that needs to be processed in the dossier), then the dossier goes in to the government, and then the clock starts ticking. We got our referral five weeks ago, so we still have another four or so weeks to wait. I am praying that maybe travel will come in May... In the meantime, I keep looking at Cupcake and hoping she's doing well, she's happy, and that someone is loving her.
"If I could open my arms,
And span the length of the isle of Manhattan,
I'd bring it to where you are,
Making a lake of the East River and Hudson.
And if I could open my mouth,
Wide enough for a marching band to march out,
They would make your name sing,
And bend through alleys and bounce off other buildings."