Monday, March 27, 2006
11:05 AM
We're now with a fully licensed agency. It seems like a whole different process. The agency is probably THE most reputable in the field of Vietnam adoption (along with one other agency) and the facilitator has been overseeing Vietnamese orphans and assisting with adoptions for years and years.
For weeks I have been walking around, mourning something. Feeling sick and sad all the time. I thought it was anxiety over the "impending referral" (which never arrived) but now I realize it was some deep knowledge that we weren't following the right path anymore, that we had gotten thrown off course and the longer we waited, the further lost we were getting. Making this decision was a huge relief, because as soon as we officially made the switch, I KNEW that we were back on track. I KNEW Cupcake is back in sight. I can feel it.
This time we asked for a baby girl under one year, instead of newborn. I keep feeling like she's going to be 8 months, either at referral or when she arrives home. I don't know why, I just feel like that's who she is. She could be older or younger. It's back to being a really exciting, giddy "what's next?" sort of experience.
The ironic thing is T. and I have seemed to have switched roles- now he's agonizing over the phone, praying for it to ring. I'm just being blissfully ignorant about it all, happy that I'm released from a promise and that time is now mine. I'm not EXPECTING anything anymore. There's no cycle of disappointment when the phone doesn't ring.
Okay, on to the details:
Here's what I now know regarding Vietnam adoptions:
- Referrals can be made before DTV, but only if the 171 is at the agency. You have to be pretty far along with your dossier in order to be eligible for referral. It's all up to the agency after that. - Referrals are made through the orphanage, the facilitator in Vietnam, and the agency. There shouldn't be any "set referral dates" or anything like that. It should be a group effort. Some agencies are going through the government, but most are not. - Referrals can happen anytime- 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years. The agency takes what age/sex you have requested, and when a match comes up at one of the orphanages, they start putting families together. So it could be any day, or it could be several months. But there won't be any "it's coming on this date!" stuff anymore. - Travel can take place 2-6 months after the referral, but more likely 4-6 months. This is a mandatory GOVERNMENT restriction, and there are no ways around it despite what agencies are claiming. - An agency has to be licensed before the formal adoption process can begin. That means Vietnam license, not province licensed.
I still have to scan the shower photos. I am desperately trying to make thank you cards. I made handmade cards with a little booklet about Vietnam inside them. I am trying to align the paper right so the booklet works. I want to get them out later today or tomorrow because a lot of the families in our building leave April 1st, when tourist/rental season begins to come to an end here in Sunny Florida.
More soon!
