Saturday, September 16, 2006
11:42 AM
These are some funny/honest quotes about being a first time parent by Anne Lamott. I just finished re-reading her book "Operating Instructions" and although I loved it the first time, I now *really* loved it. Anyone who is a parent (and has a sense of humor about it) should read it.
If you are sensitive about the subject of parenting, I would probably skip this post...
I'll post a few now, a few later. There's too many of them for one post...
"I am so tired. I feel like I'm breaking my motherly balls trying to keep Sam safe. Sometimes he's the Dalai Lama, and sometimes he's like a cross between a bad boyfriend and a high-strung puppy. And it never matters what my needs are. He never says, 'Hey, babe, you've been working too hard- why don't you take a couple of hours off? I'll just lie here and read.'"
"Sam's a good sleeper for the most part. I put him facedown in his crib, and he turns to look joyfully at me, like it's great that we've simply moved the party from the living room to the bedroom, but then he understands that I am going to turn off the light and leave him, and this look of terror and total betrayal crosses his face. TOTAL betrayal; basset hound death. His lips tremble, and he weeps for a moment in this pitiful little guy way. Then he goes to sleep, just like that."
"I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat."
"Sam's heavily into flinging things. He dismantles everything he can get his hands on, pulling every possible book and chotchke off every possible table and shelf and flinging them over his shoulder. It's like living with a Hun, or the Hell's Angels. It's gratuitous looting. He almost never actually takes anything and crawls away with it, but he'll get to the coffee table and systematically, often without any expression, lift and then drop of fling every single magazine, book, cup, or whatever to the ground. His grim expression suggests he's got a lot to do and just really doesn't want to be bothered until he's done."
and, my current favorite...
"Feeding a baby is like filling a hole with putty -- you get it in and then you sort of shave off all the excess around the hole and get it back in, like you're spackling."
