Wednesday, October 11, 2006
10:59 AM
I have this folder in my email program (yes, I still use Eudora) called "blog". In it is EVERY comment I have ever received here and on my LiveJournal that I have not responded to. I plan on answering every single one.
However, I have come to realize that it's not gonna happen. And I feel terrible. Maybe I shouldn't, but I do. I agonize over it. All these comments and connections are incredibly, INCREDIBLY important to me. I probably would blog if there were no comments, but I have to say that having people out there, talking back, responding, is a huge deal for me. It feels lonely without the response. So I am apologizing right now for what I have to do today- delete that folder of blog comments. With Cupcake and my family and this new house and using all my free time to work, the idea of sitting down and emailing makes me a little sick inside. I barely have enough words at the end of the day to say goodnight to my husband, much less sit down and try and be communicative online. In fact, I only get the chance to update this when I get up before the baby does or get a few unexpected minutes off.
This month marks my nine year anniversary writing online. And I've made incredibly close friends, my best friends, by writing online. And the idea of losing that potential, of making new and important friends, by writing scares me. So I keep saving all those blog comments thinking if I DON'T write back, the people who come here will stop. So I'm asking you not to- I'm not some power blogger who gets 30-300 comments per entry and doesn't read them or just sort of "whatever" deletes them. I hate that crap. I read everything, I respond to everything (in my mind), I just never get around to hitting that send button.
I know, I shouldn't apologize. If you want to read this, or keep up with Grace's life, you will. But just in case you think I don't give a shit, I just want you to know I do. I hate when I take the time to read someone's blog, write some very long, emotional response to something they wrote, and have it disappear into the void of the internet. It makes me not want to do that with them anymore. And I don't ever want to make anyone think I'm the same way.
So here's the deal - please keep reading and commenting, if you have a question or comment you want a reply to PESTER ME, and know there's more to this whole writing online thing than pounding out words and walking away from the computer, not caring if anyone reads or replies or what they have to say in response.
More soon, including photos of Cupcake working on her first art masterpiece!
Aw, don't worry about it dear. I *rarely* respond to comments on my LJ and Flickr, but I appreciate all of them. And I know you appreciate all of the comments you get to. You're a busy mama now :) Can't wait to see the new pix of Cupcake<3!
Posted by Amy @ October 11, 2006 02:35 PM
I absolutely love your blog entries and will continue to read them as long as you continue to post. This whole blog thing can become a bit overwhelming at times.
Posted by Kelly @ October 11, 2006 04:44 PM
I think that when you really do care, it shows and people will know. And because of that, we'll continue to read. Can't wait for new pictures!
Posted by melinda @ October 12, 2006 04:42 PM
I don't leave a comment to get a comment back! I certainly don't reply to every comment either. Please keep blogging so we can keep up with you and Cupcake!
Posted by Nina @ October 15, 2006 08:15 AM
